Monday, March 30, 2015

Rainy Days and Sundays

Flannel|S.O.   Jeans|Gap   Coat, Sunglasses|NY&Co.  Bag|Coach  Shoes|Xhiliration  Umbrella|Totes

Sunday has to be my most favorite day of the week.  I get up early to go grocery shopping and spend the day cleaning up the house, preparing for the upcoming work week and lounging with my pets while my hubby watches the race.  It's the most casual day of the week for me, and sometimes I take that too far.  Like, when I'm out at the store in my workout pants and hoodie (and no I didn't hit the gym before shopping but no one needs to know kthanks) and the messiest of messy buns.  Girlfriend looks a mess on Sundays.  Now let's add rain to the mix?  There is a better chance of the Housewives having a civil dinner party than me looking put together on a Sunday.  

Photographic evidence?  See above.  This took a lot of effort for me!  I really wanted to stay in my sweatpants (sorry Eva Mendes, but I think my husband still likes me even when I rock those bad boys) and college sweatshirt, but I at least tried a little.  Cozy flannel?  Yup.  Baseball cap to hide unwashed hair? You betchya.  My comfiest pair of jeans?  Yes please!  I consider this a win, because I'm wearing heels.  You can't look stylish every day, there is just no way!  So here is my totally casual rainy day look.

Here are some of my favorite rainy day looks featured on In Kinsey's Closet:


  

Friday, March 27, 2015

Cold Snap

I'd like to forget about the fact that it started snowing after I took these pictures.  Mother Nature is on my sh*t list this week.  She teased me with a few awesome days last week and then just dumped rain and snow and cold on me.  Mother Nature needs a Xanax and boyfriend, because she has too much time on her hands screwing me over when I decide to go bare-legged.  I am glad I didn't swap my winter coats out and replace them with my spring jackets yet.  Too much work!
Tie-neck top and skirt|Merona   Sweater|Limited   Boots|Blossom   Belt|Charlotte Ronson   Bag|Coach   Headband|Urban Outfitters

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Rorschach

As a therapist I can't help but look at this skirt and feel the desire to ask my clients to analyze it and tell me what they see à la Rorschach.  If you see your parents fighting in my skirt then perhaps I could interest you in a business card and an initial session?  Or maybe you look at it and see something akin to a beautiful marble counter top.  Either way, this skirt is at the top of my new favorites list.  I picked it up this weekend and have already worn it three times.  So maybe you don't see the famed psychologist's work in this pattern, but I see a million and one ways to style this bad boy as summer approaches. 
Top|J.Crew   Skirt|Everleigh   Tights|HUE   Shoes|Bumper   Belt|Old Navy   Bag|Coach   Beret|Limited   Glasses|Ann Taylor





Monday, March 23, 2015

Take Me Back

I'm totally feeling the 70's boho vibe of this dress today.  I picked this up over the weekend thanks to a Nordstrom Rack gift care from my mother-in-law.  I always enjoy gift cards to clothing shops, because it gives me an opportunity to buy something I wouldn't normally get.  If I'm shopping on my own dime I am usually considering getting the most bang for my buck or investing in classic pieces that will last several seasons.  When I use a gift card I feel a bit more freedom to get something a little funky or indulgent.  Thanks Vic!

Now my boots are doing a bit of cover up today.  My inner klutz came out and resulted in a baseball sized bruise on my leg.  Until it heals, you can bet I'll be rocking tights, tall boots and pants.
Dress|Max Factor   Belt|Banana Republic   Bag|Coach   Boots|Blossom   Headband|Urband Outfitters




Friday, March 20, 2015

Spring Has Sprung

You guys! It is officially Spring!  Say goodbye to pants, prickly legs, too much beer and inappropriate amounts of Netlifx binging!  We are talking straight up warm weather, happy moods and pastels out the wazoo!  Let's break in the new season with some bright colors and a little pooch, shall we?  Miss Pearl has never experienced temps about 60 (she's a fall baby ya know), so this will be a new thing for her.  I don't know who is more excited from Spring, me or Miss P!
 Dress|Merona   Coat|via Macy's   Shoes|Bandolinos   Belt|Charming Charlie   Bag|Coach   Glasses|Vogue


Thursday, March 19, 2015

Fine Looking High Horse

This top is one of my favorite thrifted finds.  I was meeting a girlfriend for a day of shopping when she suggested checking out a local shop.  I walked in an it was buzzing.  There was literally a 20 minutes line for the dressing rooms (which I totally waited in thankyouverymuch) and each aisle was crammed with people loading up their shopping carts.  It was if thrifted goods were the new currency, and people wanted to stock up quick.  My friend assured me it wasn't normally like this, and that I had just happen to come on a day where they were offering a super sale.  There were a few times I was tempted to just leave my little basket and run out the door, but I persisted with all the others and scored three tops and a dress for 11 bucks.  Worth it!
Blouse | Thrifted   Vest |    Skirt | Banana Republic   Tights | HUE   Boots | Blossom

Where else are you going to find a horse themed blouse for $1.99?

What is your best thrifted find?

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Pinch Me

Ask anyone who knows me well, and they'll tell you I love a good theme.  Honestly, I love a bad theme too, just as long as I get to dress up a little crazy.  Theme parties, costume contests, holidays and fancy events always excite me, because I love the ability to go all out and not be judged for it.  That being said, I still have look professional at work so this outfit was my compromise.  I pulled out my neglected green tights and pulled this Banana Republic top from the depths of my closet to create today's St. Patty's Day outfit! 

I hope you all have fun plans for tonight, whether it's staying in or enjoying a little too much green beer.  You'll find me down at the pub being that annoying lady who pinches you for not wearing green!
Top|Banana Republic   Skirt|Merona   Tights|HUE   Boots|Blossom   Headband|Urban Outfitters


Monday, March 16, 2015

I Love it When We're Cruisin' Together

Yesterday was the first really nice day here in Indiana.  One of my favorite things to do when the sun is shining is hop on one of my bikes and head down the walking/biking path near my home.  My husband and I rode down to a local pub and had a few pints while enjoying what I call "dog porn", which is essentially me ooohing and aaaahhhhing over every cute pooch that crosses my path.

I love leisurley rides on my cruiser bike, but I it presents the problem of transporting things like my cell phone, wallet and camera.  I usually try and stuff everything into a cross body bag, but this Spring I have upgraded to something I am very happy is making a comeback- a leather backpack!  Earlier this year my dad told me he'd like to buy me something "for the blog" so after thinking about it for a while, I picked out this bad boy.  It's roomy enough to carry everything from some groceries to my makeup bag.  It's practical and cute?  It's a must have this year!
Shirt and pants|Gap    Belt|American Eagle    Shoes|via Francesca's   Glasses|Yelp     Backpack|Olivia&Joy


Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The Biggest Struggle

This post has been a long time coming.  I have started it, erased it and written it again about six times over the years.  It’s a struggle I have always wanted to share, but I questioned if I was ready to disclose such personal information on a lighthearted style blog. 

Body acceptance is getting substantial air time in the media right now.  The Body Acceptance Movement wants everyone to love their bodies regardless of size, shape and ability.  There are many who see this movement as celebrating unhealthy lifestyles.  I don’t know where I stand on the issue, because I can’t tell anyone else how they should feel about their body.

I struggled with disordered eating for about 15 years.  I’ve made it through the fog and have a healthy and balanced lifestyle these days, but beginning in middle school and through graduate school I couldn’t say the same.  I remember the first time I hated my body.  I was in third grade and had to wear a training bra way before anyone else in my class.  My mom told me I would like my big boobs someday, but no third grader wants boobs!  This moment created what I worried would be a lifetime of hating everything about my appearance.

I recall a time in sixth grade when a girlfriend of mine asked me what plastic surgery I would get if I could.  Looking back, this question is totally ridiculous for 11 year olds to discuss, but there we were in her basement talking about what we wish we could change surgically.  I honestly don’t remember what I told her, but she looked right at me and told me “If I were you I’d probably get a nose job”.  I think about that comment a lot, even as I approach 30.  I had never had a problem with my nose, but now it was this hideous lump on my face that everyone was judging.  This is how the cycle of negative self-talk creates this completely false belief about how others see you.  This girl was just a mean girl, but I couldn’t recognize that at 11.

The issues with negative self-talk didn’t stop there.  Throughout high school and college I judged myself daily.  I picked apart my flaws so that I could mask them or somehow preempt attacks from others about the way I looked.  It seemed like everything about me was wrong.  I was shorter than my siblings, chubbier than my best friend, had ugly brown hair that looked mousy when I stood next to the other girls in choir and was all around bad.  Being a mature adult, I realize that the way you look is of some importance to others, but doesn’t define you.  When you’re in high school that doesn’t matter.

At my brother's wedding in 2007, hoping he wasn't disappointed that I was "an ugly bridesmaid"

When I turned 21 I decided I was finally going to make some drastic changes.  I hit the gym, started dieting hardcore, learned how to apply makeup well and began changing my hair.  I didn’t know if I liked what I saw, but the reaction from others was enough to keep me going.  What had initially started out as a healthy lifestyle change quickly spiraled out of control and became an obsession with calories, inches and pounds.

When a person is obsessed, it seems like nothing else exists or matters.  I can’t really tell you what I learned my senior year of college, but I could tell you how many calories I allowed myself daily.  I couldn’t tell you about the fun things I did on Spring Break visiting my boyfriend that year, but I could tell you that I gained .8 pounds on the trip and hated myself because of it.  I couldn’t tell you about how excited I was to graduate and move across the country to start attending grad school, but I could tell you that I spent hours googling the closest gyms to my new apartment.  I passed out twice my senior year because I wasn’t eating, and was actually proud of myself.  I stopped getting my periods and thought I was pregnant twice even though my boyfriend and I were long distance and it just wasn’t possible.

I stopped reading for enjoyment, and obsessed over low cal cook books and cleanse books like the one I'm reading here when I should have been enjoying my vacation. 

It seemed completely normal to me though.  I recall one day when I was at work talking with a male coworker.  I have no idea what I was saying, but he actually stopped me and told me “you are kind of messed up about food and exercise stuff, aren’t you?”  Whoa.  It was noticeable to other people?  Now all of the sudden, on top of the fear I had that others were judging me based on my looks now people are starting to think I am a crazy person?  The vicious cycle of negative self-talk continued with greater force than ever before.

It is an odd thing, negative self-talk.  You don’t even realize it is happening most of the time.  I didn’t consciously sit in my room telling myself that people wouldn’t like me if I gained two pounds, but that thought popped into my head several times a day.  I would feel awesome when the scale told me I lost weight and like a miserable failure if I even maintained.  I skipped out on a lot of events in my early twenties because I knew (just KNEW!) that people would think I was a loser because I wasn’t tall/thin/cute/blonde enough.  This was a legitimate fact in my mind.

I was out celebrating something with friends by drinking champagne.  I can't remember what we were celebrating, only that I beat myself up for going "over my calories" that night. 

I just figured my life would always be like that.  A constant roller coaster of hating myself and loving the attention changes in my appearance got me.  Excessively high one day and crushingly low the next.  I also hid this from everyone I knew.  I didn’t talk to my best friend about it, because she was beautiful and I thought she wouldn’t understand.  I didn’t tell my parents, because I thought they would be more disappointed in me than they already were for being the “loser child”.  I didn’t tell my boyfriend at the time, because I thought I would scare him away.  On the outside I seemed so happy and accomplished, but on the inside I was that 11 year old girl who got told she needed a nose job to be pretty.

It wasn’t until I was 24 that I got the help I didn’t know I needed.  I broke down one night and told someone about how I obsessed over food and my body every day and he encouraged me to see a therapist.  I had actually tried therapy once before to talk about all of this, but I just spent the entire session crying and trying to tell the therapist everything all at once.  I felt judged, even though looking back I know I wasn’t, and never returned to her office.

This time I found a professional who dealt specifically with body dysmorphia and disordered eating.   She didn’t take my insurance, so I paid thousands of dollars out of pocket up front to ensure that I would continue with my treatment.   During my first appointment I just spent 50 minutes sobbing trying to tell this woman everything I ever hated about myself.  I remember leaving her office with a red and puffy face and just praying that she would be the one to help me.

And she was.  In my time in therapy I had to work hard to un-learn everything I thought I knew about healthy eating, exercise, what people thought of me and how to enjoy myself.  It takes a lot of time to identify all the negative messages we send ourselves each day and then change them.  There were times I was frustrated that therapy wasn’t “working” and times I was so proud of myself, truly proud, for making positive changes.   It took about a year of working weekly and then biweekly with my therapist for me to change from a girl who was scared everyone hated her to a woman that knows she is valuable and worthwhile.

I started to understand that my family still loved me, even if I gained weight over the holidays.  I learned that people don’t really care about how tall I am.  I learned that people think about me and my appearance a lot less than I think they do.  It helped me to relax, and finally be me.  I hadn’t been me in nearly 15 years.  I became nicer, more understanding, compassionate and less judgmental of others.  Eventually I became happy.  Today I am happier, and more at peace, than I ever thought I could be 10 years ago.  True happiness and acceptance of oneself is something I am thankful for every day.

So why share this?  I know I am not the only person that has struggled with this.  As a therapist now I get to pay it forward by helping others fight the negative cycle of self-hate.  As a style blogger I put myself out there for people to either judge or appreciate and I can do it without fear or some false bravado.  I love myself and some days I even love my body too.  If you are struggling with this, please know that there are trained professionals who have dedicated their careers to helping you feel good again. 



Thanks everybody!

     -Kinsey

Friday, March 6, 2015

Bloom

Spring officially arrives this month according to my calendar; however, according to my skirt it has arrived a bit sooner.  What is more spring than floral print?  Aside from pastels, it's fair to bet that floral print is the default trend for spring.  
Top|Mossimo   Skirt|Merona   Tights|HUE   Coat and belt|Old Navy   Bag|Coach   Shoes|Nine West   Glasses|Vogue


Thursday, March 5, 2015

Pup

Everyone who knows me knows that I am officially obsessed with my pup Miss Pearl.  Need evidence?  See here and here.  She is a total sweetie and is really picking up on her training.  Not only am I obsessed with her, I am loving all things Scottish Terrier.  Over the weekend I picked up two scottie figurines at antique shops in Columbus.  I'm not even trying to hide my craziness.  This scarf lets me wear my love for Miss Pearl around my neck!  It was a gift from my husband when we first picked our pup out of the litter back in November.  Each time I wear it I remember holding her in the palm of my hand and wondering how I would wait 6 weeks to bring her home with me.  
 Shirt|Gap   Skirt and boots|Mossimo   Belt|Limited   Tights|HUE   Scarf|gifted   Bag|Coach   Glasses|Ray-Ban


 

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Sweater Puppies

Full disclosure: my husband paid me five bucks to name this blog post.  The things I'll do for a few quick bucks...shameful.

This weekend I was in Columbus, OH visiting with girlfriends and we hit up a pretty great thrift shop Rag-O-Rama.  They were having a dollar sale, so I got a few items for a buck!   I also loaded up my cart with an 80s electric plaid coat, a suspender skirt and a graphic print dress.  I can't wait to share my cheapy finds with you! Good thing I accept silly bets with my husband, because it helps me fuel my thrifting habit.
Sweater|thrifted   Leggings|American Apparel   Boots|Blossom   Glasses|NY&Co.   Bag|thrifted



So how much of your wardrobe is thrifted or vintage?  What was your favorite find?